REGRET - The Price of Truth: Everhide Rockstar Romance Series Book 4 Read online

  He shrugged. “I got mixed up over you, Lex. Shit happens.” He’d jerked off thinking about her more times than he cared to admit. Best keep those details to himself. “We’ve been busy with the wedding, dealing with Gem’s kidnapping, and my band making changes. The lack of sex hasn’t bothered me.” Liar. It was sending him fucking insane. He was tonguing for a good fuck. But the only one he wanted in his bed was standing in front of him.

  Shit. He needed a cold shower. Maybe he should take Hunter’s advice while he was here in California. He should get out and sample some of the local talent, not mull over Lexi.

  She stretched her neck. “No sex for weeks will possibly kill me. Tinder may call to make sure I’m still alive. But I can do this. No hook-ups until you move.” She sucked in a deep breath like she was stapling that statement in big, bold print onto her memory board. She clutched onto his forearm. “Our pact is to have fun, right? Many firsts, lasts and good times. But right now, I need food. Let’s eat.” Lexi spun around and opened the fridge. Scanning the contents, she bent over to look on the lower shelves.

  Damn . . . she had a fine ass. He’d love to take hold of her by the hips and—

  She swung around, her arms loaded with bacon, eggs and wraps. By the don’t-even-think-about-it gleam in her eyes, he could tell she’d read his thoughts.

  Crap. But what was he supposed to do? She had a great ass.

  She turned back to the fridge and grabbed the tomatoes. “What are your plans after breakfast?”

  He rubbed his pounding forehead. She was right; he needed food. Greasy food—even better. “Um . . . Gem and the guys asked me to go watch their rehearsal this afternoon.” His friends were not early risers. “I’ll practice this morning.” He waved toward the stairs that led to the lower level. “Have you checked out their home studio? It’s freaking insane. Kyle’s bought a wicked set of drums. Other than that, I don’t have anything on. You?”

  She dumped her load of ingredients on the rear kitchen counter. “I’m going with the girls to one of Gem’s dress fittings later this morning. Then she’s getting her hair trimmed before she meets up with the guys. This afternoon, I’ll have to do some work before I go to my first restaurant review tonight.”

  After searching though cupboards and drawers, he eventually found two fry pans in the massive walk-in pantry. He turned on the stove top and stared at the heating element. The knot in his chest tightened. A night at home in this huge house by himself didn’t sound like fun. Everhide had a function on, and he didn’t want to venture out on the town without friends in tow. “You want some company tonight for dinner?”

  They could do dinner. He’d been out with her to her reviews many times. They were just friends going out and having fun. This was an opportunity for them to reset. Be normal. Just like now, cooking breakfast. They worked like clockwork.

  She grabbed flippers and tongs and an egg whisk from the cutlery drawer. “Um . . . sure. Company would be nice.”

  He found a mixing bowl for her and drummed his palms on the white granite countertop. “The Haydster and the Lexster, out on the town. It’s a date.”

  Her gaze cut into him like a sharpened knife; concern swirled in the depths of her dark brown eyes. “It’s not a date. It’s work.”

  He slapped her butt with the flipper. “Lex. Chill. It’s a joke.”

  “Fine.” She jabbed her hip against his as she cracked eggs into the bowl. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

  His heart tweaked, still longed for her. He couldn’t switch it off. He threw several bacon rashes into the fry pan; sizzle and smell filled the air. “There is no misunderstanding. I got your message loud and clear.”

  Shivers rippled through his belly. He glanced sideways at Lexi. She held the bowl steady and whisked the eggs slowly. Her gaze raked over his body.

  His heart fist-pumped his ribs. He liked her looking at him like that. It did all crazy things to his insides. Maybe being truthful about his feelings had affected her. Maybe she wasn’t being honest with him. Or was it wishful thinking? Probably. “Something wrong?”

  “Yes.” She poured the egg mixture into the other fry pan. “I’m not sure if it’s you that smells or if it’s me.”

  He chuckled. Nice diversion, Lex. “It must be you. I smell like fucking roses.” He sniffed his T-shirt he’d worn last night and winced. It stank of beer. He should’ve grabbed a fresh shirt, not picked this one up off the floor this morning. “Okay, maybe not. I’ll shower after practice.”

  “You’re such a goose.” She giggled, nudging her arm against his.

  Yeah, a real goose, for falling for a girl who doesn’t feel the same way.

  Together, they cooked the food—the bacon crisp and crunchy, the eggs smooth and creamy, the tomatoes grilled to perfection. There was enough left warming in the oven for the others when they dragged themselves out of bed.

  After eating their delicious breakfast wraps at the dining table, Lexi glanced at the wall clock. “Shit. I better go wake the girls. We’re supposed to be leaving in thirty minutes.”

  “Leave your plate. I’ll clean up.” Greasy food had had the desired effect. He didn’t feel hungover anymore.

  “Thank you.” She stood and rubbed the back of his shoulders but was quick to withdraw her hand. “So . . . for tonight, be ready by seven-thirty.” She pushed her chair in, strummed her hands on the back of it. “I’ve booked a car service. We’re going to a swanky French restaurant, so wear something nice. Did you bring something better than jeans?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “Awesome.” She clicked her fingers and pointed at him. “Let’s go spend my boss’s money on expensive fine dining.”

  He hooked his arm behind her, drew her against his side and rubbed his hand up and down her thigh. “See, that’s one of the reasons I love you.”

  She froze, her hand fisting and pulling on his hair.

  “Ow! Sorry.” He held up his palms. “Slip of the tongue. I should have said, ‘Dinner on your boss. Hell yeah’. Is that better?”

  “Hmm . . . for now.” A playful glint shimmered in her narrowed eyes.

  Did he have to watch what he said around her? No, he wouldn’t do that. She knew him better than anyone. Not every comment that came out of his mouth was about his love for her. She shouldn’t be reacting like this—like she wanted to run and hide after everything he said or did. He’d rattled the ground beneath her feet by admitting his feelings. But something more serious was going on with her, and he had to get to the bottom of it.

  She’d gotten jealous seeing him with Julz. She wasn’t going to hook up with anyone while he was around. She was being mindful of him. She did care for him. He knew that. He knew she feared falling for someone again. But did her feelings for him run deeper than she wanted to admit? Was there any way to dig into them further? He didn’t know where to start. Should he take her on a date? Or just fill their days with activities they’d always promised to do?

  Whatever happened over the coming weeks, he had to ensure his heart remained intact. She really might not feel the same way as he did. But he had to find out. It was risky. A challenge. But maybe . . . just maybe . . . he needed to rattle Lexi a bit more.

  Chapter 6

  Stepping out of the car at the Sur La Mer Restaurant in Marina Del Rey, Hayden couldn’t drag his gaze away from Lexi. She’d hardly looked at him since they’d left the house. Sat as far away from him as possible in the car. Stared out the window. It irked him. A lot. It was like she didn’t want him with her. Why didn’t she say something?

  He’d hoped the tension that had lingered since they’d kissed and the jealousy they’d both experienced at the party last night had gone. Clearly not. Something was still bothering her. But now wasn’t the time to push her buttons. She had a review to do. He was here for support and as a friend. Tonight was about her and her job—not the touchy subject of them.

  He sucked in a deep breath to clear his head, straightened his tie and dinne
r jacket and followed her inside. After not eating at Everhide’s rehearsal this afternoon, he was starving.

  “Welcome, Monsieur-Dame.” The pristine-suited maître d, Marcy, greeted them and took Lexi’s coat. “Please, follow me.” With menus stacked under her arm, she led them toward the back of the bustling restaurant.

  Hayden inhaled the delicious, rich aromas that wafted from the kitchen, adding to his hunger pains. Being in close proximity to Lexi didn’t help either. She exacerbated his cravings. His eyes slid down to her ass, over her sexy legs, her high heels and back up again. He was certain he’d left his simmering feelings for her back at the house, right beside the bottle of Budweiser he’d drunk while waiting for her to get ready.

  No such luck.

  She looked good enough to devour. Her knee-length, ruby dress clung to her sexy curves. The low neckline emphasized her decent rack of cleavage. Yep, it will be hard not to look at that all night. Her flawless makeup accentuated her gorgeous brown eyes, and her red lipstick matched the color of her dress. Her blonde curls, pinned into a high bun, highlighted the fine curves of her neck. How had he not fallen for her sooner when she was everything he wanted in a woman—beauty and brains, brazen and breathtaking?

  But, like every guy she’d dated and dumped quicker than a techno-beat, he’d never captured her interest. Never been more than a friend. He was still banking on changing her opinion. Just not tonight.

  As they took their seats, Marcy introduced them to Dion, their waiter for the evening. With a dip of her head she glided off to attend to other guests.

  “Good evening.” Dion flapped white linen napkins and placed them on their laps. He poured glasses of sparkling water and ran through the specials and drink menus. “I shall return shortly for your order.” Adjusting the white napkin over his arm, he bowed and disappeared.

  Hayden drummed his fingers on the table and jerked his chin toward the kitchen. “They don’t know you’re a reviewer, do they?”

  “No, not tonight.” Lexi tugged on one of her dangling tasseled earrings. “I’m incognito.”

  “Good.” He’d been on plenty of reviews with her before. When the restaurant knew who she was, the waiters groveled around her, chefs offered her tastes of complimentary dishes, desserts and delicacies. When they were clueless, it made for a much more relaxed outing.

  But Lexi was far from chilled. She fiddled with her hairdo, fidgeted with her cutlery, toyed with the roses in the center of the table. Surely she wasn’t nervous about her first LA review. He could picture her article now . . . “Every table has a spectacular harbor view, but not from where I sat behind a pillar. The dark furniture, deep red drapes, velvet-covered chairs and Moulin Rouge inspired artwork gave the place a cozy boudoir feel, but paper tablecloths over linen lost me.”

  He leaned back in his chair. Lexi’s eyes darted around the restaurant. She looked everywhere but at him. Maybe his presence made her edgy. Maybe she was fighting her want for him. Maybe he should kiss her again, then at least he’d know what was bothering her. The silent treatment killed him. He’d had enough. “Lex, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She smoothed her hands over the paper cloth. “I’m fine.”

  Then why couldn’t she look him in the eye? “You worried about your review?”

  “Nope.”

  “Is it your mom? Did she call this afternoon?”

  Stiffness embedded deep into her jaw. “Yep . . . same old sob story. I ruined her life. So did my dad and their marriage. Oh . . . and I got a bonus rundown, complete with emailed photos, of every cup, saucer, and dish she’s made in the past few days. So . . . she’s great.”

  Lexi’s pained smile was like a punch to the chest. “You think she’s off her meds?”

  Hayden hated it when Celina rattled on about her divorce and her pottery. It usually meant she was in one of her manic highs. He prayed Nora would do the right thing and check on her while Lexi was away.

  Lexi traced her fingernail over her eyebrow, a visible tremor in her stroke. “She says she’s taking them.”

  So why was Lexi unable to sit still? He quirked the corner of his mouth. “If it’s not your mom, is it me?”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “You haven’t sat still for one second. You know we’re cool, right? The party . . . the kisses . . . they’re behind us. Forgotten.”

  A ridge formed between her brows, and she flopped her hands onto her lap. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m being silly. It’s not you.”

  He wasn’t convinced. He was affecting her, hopefully in a good way. Being able to make her pulse race sent a zing through his veins. “Good.” He zipped his lips, suppressing his smile. “Then stop fidgeting. You look amazing.” Stunning.

  “Thank you.” She blushed and played with a curl that had escaped her bun.

  He should give her more complements, make her feel good about herself more often. He made a mental note to do so. But before she turned as pink as a peach, he needed to take the edge off. Needed her to relax. She had a job to do—her review. He picked up the wine list and handed it to her. “I don’t know about you, but I need a drink. Would you kindly do the honors?”

  “Absolutely.” She snatched the wine list from him, scanned it in record time and waved to Dion. She ordered a Moët & Chandon Brut Impérial, and he rushed off toward the bar.

  Hayden gave her a quizzical look. “Are we celebrating something?”

  “Yes . . . no . . . maybe.” She leaned over to smell the two miniature red roses in the vase. “I guess your big move.” She sat upright and glanced around the dimly lit restaurant. “But . . . more than anything . . . I’m gonna miss going to places like this with you.”

  A pang struck his heartstrings. The sadness in her eyes tore him in two. So that was it. That was what was bothering her. She wasn’t crushing on him. She was upset this would be one of the last times they went to a review together. Another reality he didn’t want to face. He caught her hand under his, wrapped his fingers around hers. Wishing he could hold onto her forever. “Yeah. Me too.”

  He stroked his thumb over her smooth skin, her pulse on the inside of her wrist thrummed beneath his touch. He’d love to take her out to places like this when she wasn’t on the clock. But between her work and his gigs, they rarely had an evening free. He wanted to give her the world, the lifestyle she deserved, but that dream had to die. He wouldn’t be able to wine and dine her from Boston. No point, especially since she didn’t reciprocate his feelings. He glanced around the busy restaurant, but there was no sign of Dion. Where was that drink when you needed it?

  Her hand quivered in his. She tugged it free and picked up her menu. “You want me to order for you?”

  “Yes. Please.” He pushed his menu aside—didn’t even bother to open it. “I’ll eat anything.”

  Dion returned with the champagne, filled their flutes and put the bottle on ice. He took their dinner order and headed toward the kitchen.

  The second Dion was out of earshot, Hayden rested his arms on the table and leaned forward. “Lex, what did you order?” She’d spoken so fast to Dion, and half in French, he hadn’t understood what she’d said.

  “Appetizers of quail, flammekueche, and oysters with prosecco mignonette. And entrees of poulet à la diable and beef bourguignon.”

  “You ordered oysters?”

  The slightest smile quivered across her lips. “You afraid they’re an aphrodisiac?”

  Hmm . . . he could only hope. The only slippery thing he wanted in his mouth was her tongue, and that wasn’t going to happen. He tilted his glass toward her and arched an eyebrow. “For your sake, I hope they’re not.” He downed a mouthful of champagne. “But I’ll be happy to help you out if needed.”

  She lowered her lashes, shrugged a shoulder. “That won’t be necessary. They don’t affect me.”

  “If you say so.” Turning the volume down on his voice, he summoned his best suave, French accent. “And what the hell is poulet à la diable?”r />
  Her giggle was like a flicker of candlelight; its warmth swelled inside his chest.

  “You goose.” She kicked his leg . . . well it was more of a rub of her calf against his. It sent a shiver up his shin and the hairs on his leg jumped to attention. He’d be happy if she left her leg resting against him the whole night, but she was quick to pull away. “It’s chicken in a mustard sauce.”

  “Terrifiant.” He chugged two mouthfuls of champagne. The quicker the alcohol dulled his senses, the better.

  A waiter rushing by, knocked his elbow and spilled a dash of Hayden’s drink over the table and down onto his trousers. “Oh, monsieur. Pardon.” The waiter whipped out his napkin ready to wipe up the spill.

  “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. My fault.” Hayden grabbed the cloth, dabbed himself dry and sent the waiter on his way.

  Lexi giggled again. That was the Lexi he wanted to see. His smiling, happy, loving angel.

  But as he took another drink, the sparkle faded in her eyes. She stared at his chest. She always got like this when a tug-of-war was going on in her mind. He cocked his head, hoping she was contemplating how good they could be together. That she’d made a mistake and wanted to be with him. But whatever had zoned her out disappeared when she blinked. She sucked in a deep breath; all emotion was erased from her face. She raised her flute and stared at the bubbles, not him. “To us.” Her soft voice jabbed him in the gut. “To friendship. May ours last forever.”

  Shit. What the hell was he doing? Holding out for her feelings to change? She did only want to be friends. He had to stop wasting his time. Get his feelings under control before he lost his mind. “Friends forever. I promise.”

  He chinked his glass against hers. The reverberations hit low and hard in his gut. He was a fool to think he could sway her mind. If she wanted to be friends, what was it going to take for her to be able to look at him the same way as she had before they’d kissed? How could he look at her and not always want more? Fuck. If he could undo the damage he’d caused, he would. Or would this ache inside his chest always remain?